felt like writing again - clarity of words = clarity of mind?

an outburst today left me feeling rather weak and drained.
it shouldn't have happened, i didn't expect it to happen. but it did.
and with a shock i realised how shaky i still was.


i had known it, perhaps, but maybe not entirely.


why do i write?
i write as a means to convey what i feel
as an outlet, a funnel for my emotions
as a means to obtain clarity for the uncertainty that clouds my mind, diffusing slowly to fill all nooks and crannies

by funnelling
i push these uncertainties through a point
i get a clearer, narrower stream
of thoughts
of ideas
of feelings


clarity of words implies clarity of mind


not exactly. clarity of words implies clarity of a certain part of your mind perhaps. the part which you want to make clear at that point. i don;t think we can ever be entirely clear of what exactly we're thinking, nor can we be entirely sure that our thoughts and feeling will continue holding true for all time. in fact it's the exact opposite.

and thus, what this current clarity of words that represents, perhaps, a clarity of mind..might no longer seem clear tmr. and i, i who wrote these words today, may wonder tmr - why did i write them? to what end? what was i thinking, feeling?

and it's entirely possible that i won't know.