my pressure cooker

i've been refraining myself from blogging recently because i've been rather stressed about the complete lack of progress on my thesis - it's been 2 weeks since I last spoke to my advisor and I still dont have much new stuff to tell her about, plus my interview with a japanese professor just got pushed back from tomorrow to next week because he strained his back.

but a new book came today (Okimoto's MITI and the Market, courtesy of Amazon.co.jp) - i've been ordering books with impunity, abandon, whatever - because the library's too far away and I can't even borrow books. am really feeling a lack of resources i.e. english books that will give me theories and allow me to do a proper literature review section. but then again, sigh, i have so many resources i haven't analyzed yet anyway.

anyway the reason why i was refraining myself from blogging was that i didnt want to do a post that comprised mere complaning and self-pitying. guess some of it is inadvertent (i.e. the previous 2 paragraphs)

but things are looking up in other ways. can confidently say that i am now friends with my classmates and my housemates. :) dinners (korean, mostly), jokes in class (in japanese!) and at home, asking for favors e.g. printing some forms, going swimming, talking about life.

have this feeling that after leaving japanese school and japan i probably won't ever see any of them again. our lives are so different, and my japanese will probably be really bad in 5 years time....which doesn't bode well for the friendships i've made in Japanese class. actually can't believe classes are going to end in 2.5 weeks....i'm going to move out of this house, make my long-awaited trip to Hong Kong, and then start school officially in Hitotsubashi. am starting to feel that familiar feeling again - a mix of the dismay of separation, and the burdensome-ness of change; the feeling of missing a place and the people and regretting not having done more. i'll probably regret i didn't get to go to the jazz bar more often...probably regret not having checked out more restaurants in the area...might regret not taking more photos...well. i'm bringing my camera to class for sure.

regrets aside, though, I do have a small lingering hope that at least some friendships will last a little longer. an australian friend of mine is actually coming to tokyo next week - and it'll be the (morocco, singapore, sydney, new york, tokyo) 5th city we're meeting up in. how cool is that, eh. :) we're actually aiming to make it all continents. we've covered 4 so far...:) sad to say though, for me, people like that are few and far between.

oh well. :)

oh, and on a side note, i've also discovered the wonders of downloading music. think it's time for me to finally get an ipod. yay!

off to sleep. am going to make a trip to the library tomorrow morning, and might try to squeeze in a run before that.